Changes ...

Things change, I change almost all the time.
If you ask me if I imagine my life this way 5 years ago ... I would have to say hell no. I became one of those people were work is everything, my life revolve around it and all I do is sometimes take a break just to realize how much I hate it.
I love Mexico, I love/loved Alejandro since then I look at every men in a different way, my joy to explore people is gone. I don't want a relationship just to have it...I want that love and companionship, trust, spark ...that stupid unconditional, irresponsible love! But I fear since I had it twice in my lifetime that's pretty much it .. well is it?? Will I ever fall in love again?!
I always believed in one true love, so it looks like I was more than lucky to love twice, truly love - I think that's what it was? I mean every time I think about them both .. my heart (still) skips a beat.
I think I'm a little lost with who I am, I thought I knew myself really well but the last few months showed me that even I cannot predict myself haha if that makes any sense :)